Hopefully the story below could make us learn how to be grateful for what we have:
I hate him, that’s what always whisper in my heart for most of our time together.Though married, I never really gave my heart to him.Married under my parents compulsion, make me hate my own husband.
Although forced marriage, I never showed my hatred attitude.Though hated it, every day I still serve him as a duty of wife on the bed.I had to do it all because I had no other grip.Several times i want to leave him but I do not have the financial capability and support for anyone.Both my parents were very fond of my husband because according to them, my husband is a figure of perfect husband for their only daughter.
When married, I became a wife who is very spoiled.I did everything as I please.My husband also indulged in such a way.I never really had my duties as a wife to take care home or him.I always depend on him because I thought it was supposed to be after what he did to me.I have given my life to him so that that is his duty to made me happy with obey all my wishes
In our house, I’m the queen.No one dared to resist.If there is the slightest problem, I always blame my husband.I do not like when he put a wet towel on the bed, I hate to see he put the sticky spoon after stirring the milk on the table, I hate when he uses my computer even if only to finish the job.I was angry when he hung his clothes in my kapstock, I was also angry when he wore a toothpaste without squeezing it neatly, I was angry when he contacted me through many times when I’m having fun with my friends.
At first I chose to haven’t children.Although i am not going to work, but I do not want to have responsibility to raise childrenInitially he and I support the family planning with the contraception pills.But apparently he hid his desire so deep that one day I forgot to take birth control pills and even though he knew he had let it.Finally I pregnant and realized after more than four months, the doctor reject abortion because too late.
That’s my greatest anger to him.Anger grew when I became pregnant and had a pair of twins, i had a difficult birth.After our babies born, I forced him to act a vasectomy so I’m not pregnant anymore.Dutifully, he did all my wishes because I threatened to leave him with our two children.
Time passed until the children became eight years.Like the previous morning, I woke up last.My husband and children were waiting for me at the dining table.As usual, it was he who provides breakfast and drive the kids to school.That day, he reminded me that today was the anniversary of my mother .I just replied with a nod without regard to his words that remind about last year when same events was happen, when I choose to go to the mall and was not present at the mother’s party.Well, because i feel trapped by my marriage, I also hate my parents.
Prior to the office, usually my husband just kissed me and followed the children.But that day, he also hugged me so the kids tease him noisily.I tried to dodge and releasing his arms.Although finally i smile with the children.He returned several times to kiss at the door, he look very hard to go.
When they leave, I decide to go to the salon.Spend the time to salon is my hobby.I arrived at the salon few hours later.In the salon I met one of my friends.We chat with each other engrossed including exhibiting our activities.It was time I had to pay the bills salon, but how shocked I was when I realized that my wallet left behind at home.Although reach until the deepest into my bag, I could not find it in the bag.Trying to remember what happened but I still could not find my wallet I called my husband and ask.
“Sorry dear, yesterday Farhan asking me some money and I do not have any cents so i took it from your wallet.I forgot to put it back into your bag, if im not wrong i put on my desk. “He explained gently.
Angrily, I scolded her harshly.I hung up without waiting him for finish his words.Shortly thereafter, my cell phone resumes and although still upset, I answer it with half snaps.”What else?”
“Honey, I’m home now, I’ll grab your wallet and drove it to you.honey, now where are you? “my husband asked quickly, afraid I hung up again.I mention the name of my salon and without waiting for the answer again, I re-hung.I spoke with the cashier and said that my husband would come to pay my bill.The owner of the salon is my friend had in fact let me go and said I could pay for it later when I come back again.But I dont want my other friend who still stay in the room know about it, it made me shy to owe the bill.
Rain fell when I look out and hope my husband car coming soonMinutes stretched into hours, I was getting impatient so started calling my husband’s cell phone.There was no response despite repeated call.Though usually only two times my phone rings already answered by him.I began to feel uncomfortable and angry.
My phone was appointed after several attempts.When sound of my yelling not come out yet, a strange voice answered my husband cell phoneI was silent for a moment before the sound of stranger introduced himself, “Good day, mam.Are you the wife of Mr. Armandi? “I answer that question fast.Stranger introducing himself as a cop, he was told that my husband had an accident and he is currently taken to the hospital.At that moment I was silent and only answer thank you.When the phone is closed, I crouched in puzzlement.My hands clutched the phone in my hands and some salon employees approached me with alacrity asked what was wrong because my face turned pale white as paper.
Somehow I ended up in hospital.Somehow also knew the whole family was there to catch up.I’m just waiting for my husband’s with silence in front of the emergency room.I do not know what to do because all this was he who did everything for me.When finally after waiting several hours, just when the maghrib prayer echoes sounded a doctor came out and delivered the news.My husband is gone.He went not because of the accident itself, stroke was the cause of his death.Done heard that fact, I starting to take care my parents and my mother-in-law who really shockThere was absolutely no tears on my eyes out.I was busy calming my father, my mother and mother-in-law.Children who are hit with a tight hug but their grief was not able to make me cry.
When the body of my husband was brought into the house and I sat in front of him, I stared his face.I realize this is the only time I really looked at his face that seemed like sleep.I approached his face and looked at it carefully.That’s when my chest becomes congested remembered what he’d given me for ten years together.I touched his face gently that has been cold and I realize this is the first time I touched his face, which had always full with a warm smile.Tears erupted from my eyes, blurring my vision.I gasped, trying to wipe the tears did not hinder my last look at him, I want to remember all the part of his face so that my husband’s memories could not have ended there.But instead of stopping, the torrential tears flooded down my cheeks.Warnings from mosque Leader who arrange the funeral procession are not able made me stop crying.I tried not to crying, but my chest tightness remember what I did to him last time we talked.
I remembered how I never pay attention to his health.I almost never set meal.Though he always manage what I eat.He noticed vitamins and medications i should eat especially when pregnant and after childbirth.He never missed to reminded me to eating regularly, sometimes even fed me when I’m lazy to eat.I never knew what he was eating because I never asked.Even I do not know what he likes and dislikes.Almost the entire family knows that my husband is a fan of instant noodles and strong coffee.My chest tightened to hear it, because I know he may be forced to eat instant noodles because I almost never cook for him.I’m just cooking for the kids and myself.I do not care he had eaten or not when he go home.He can eat my cooking only if any left.And he came home late at night every day because of the office is quite far from home.I never want to respond to his request to move closer to his office because i dont want to live far from my friends houses
At the funeral, I could not stop myself.I fainted when I saw his body is lost along the stockpiled soil piles.I do not know anything until waking up in my big bed.I awoke with a sense of regret fulfilling my chest cavity.My extended family in vain to persuade me because they never knew why I was so hurt to lose him.
I spent the days after his departure is not freedom as long as it wanted, but instead I was trapped in the desire to be with him.In the early days of departure, I sat stunned staring at an empty plate.Father, mother and mother-in-law talked me into eating.But what I remember was when my husband talked me into eating when I dont want to eat.When I forget to bring a towel in the shower, I yelled to call my husband as usual and when even my mother came, I crouched down crying in the bathroom hope he comes.My habit to call him any time when i can not do something at home, making his friend in the office answered my phone with confusion.Every night I waited in the bedroom and expect the next morning I woke up next to his figure.
I was so annoyed when his snoring sleep hear sound, but now I even woke up often longed to hear again.I was upset because he was often a mess in our bedroom, but now I feel our bedroom was empty and hollow.I was so upset when he does the job and left it on my laptop without log out, now I’m staring at a computer, see one by one of the keys rubbed his fingers hoping the former is still left there.I used to like it at least to make coffee without placemats on the table, now the scar is left when his last breakfast, i do not want to erase.Typical television remote hiding, is now easily found, though I wish I could replace his loss by losing the remote.All the stupidity that I did because I realized that he loved me and I was hit by an arrow of love.
I’m also angry at myself, I was angry that all seem normal even though he was not there.I was angry because her clothes are still there to leave the smell that made me nostalgic.I am angry because they can not stop all my sorrow.I am angry because nobody else is persuaded me to calm down, nothing that reminds me pray even now I do with sincerity.I pray because I want to apologize, to apologize to God for wasting husband was awarded to me, asking forgiveness for being a bad wife to her husband who was so perfect.Praying are able to remove my grief a little.God’s Love showed to me with so much attention from the family for me and the kids.My friends who i had been defending Stand up, almost never show their noses after the departure of my husband.
Forty days after his death, the family reminded me to rise from adversity.There were two children waiting for me and i should raise them alone.Back a sense of confusion came over me.During this time I knew something always okay and never work.All done by my husband.How much income I’ve never cared, I cared about only the amount of dollars which he transfers into my account for personal use and wear for every month, the money is almost never left.From the office where he works, I get the final salary and bonus compensation.I was speechless when saw it did not expect, it turns out the entire salary is transferred into my account so far.Though I had never the slightest use for household purposes.Either from where he obtained the money to meet other household needs because I never even asked about it.All I know now I have to work or my children would not be able to live because of the number of final salary and bonus compensation would not be enough to feed three of us.But where?I almost never have any experience at all.Everything is always governed by him.
Bewilderment missed some time later.My father came with a notary.He brings a lot of documents.Then give a letter notarized.Husband’s affidavit that he bequeathed his entire estate to me and the kids, he accompanied his mother in the letter but that made me unable to say anything is the letter for me.
My Dear wife Liliana,
Sorry have to leave you first, dear. sorry to make you responsible for taking care of everything yourself. I’m sorry because I can not give you the love and affection again. God gave me the time is too short for love you and children is the best thing I ever did for you.
If I could, I wanted to accompany love forever. But I do not want you to lose my love for granted.I’ve been saving little by little to your life later. I do not want you falling hard after I am gone.There’s not much but I hope I can give you to use it to raise and educate children. Do your best for them, yes dear.
Do not cry, my spoiled love. Do a lot of things to make your life better after wasted all this time with me. I give you the freedom to realize the dreams that you do not have time for this. Forgive me if I trouble you and may God give you a better mate than me.
For Farah, my beloved daughter. Sorry because my father could not be there with you. Be a good wife like your mother and Farhan, my knight protector. Take care of mother and Farah. Do not be a naughty boy again and always remember wherever you are, my father would see you there. Okay, Buddy!
I wept reading the letter, there is a cartoon with glasses that are typical of the tongue stuck out my husband if he sent the note.
Notary told that during this time my husband has some insurance and savings deposits from the legacy of his biological father.My husband made some effort from the results of such savings deposits and the business was quite successful despite managing by those his friend beliefs.I can only cry knowing how much he loved us, so that when death came to him he still flooded us with love.
I never thought to marry again.The number of men who attended was able to remove the figure is still so alive in my heart.Day after day i just give my whole life for my children.When my parents and my in-laws went one by one leaving me forever, none left the sadness deep sadness like when my husband left.
Now my daughter n my son aged twenty-three years.In two days my daughter married a boy from across the land.Our daughter asked, “Mom, I’m going to do it later after becoming a wife, because i can not cook, i dont know how to washing the cloth, how about it ya Mom?”
I hugged her saying “Love love, love your husband, love your choice of your heart, love what he has and you will get everything.For love, you will learn to please him, will learn to accept his shortcomings, will learn that for any problem, you will finish it in the name of love. ”
My daughter looked at me, “like your love for father?is that your love makes you are very loyal to father until now? ”
I shook my head, “no, my dear.Love your husband like your father loves me, like your father loves you both.i am loyal to your father because your father’s love is so great to mother and both of you. ”
I may not lucky to have time showing my love for my husband.I spent ten years to hate him, but spent most of the rest of my life for love him.I’m free of him because of death, but I could never free from his sincere love.
NOTE :UN-EDITED FROM FRIEND.